Real Roses
by Sionna Raven
Summary: At the end of his 2nd year at Hogwarts Sirius learns how to conjure roses and finds out that real love is not convenience.


Gryffindor Common Room, May1973

" The rain has stopped." James drops the quidditch magazine he's been reading, looking at the pictures... "Out off here, now!"

"Give me a few minutes; I want to finish this first." I copy the next passage to my notebook. '….conjuring complex animated objects such as living plants or animals requires...'

"What is so important that you...?" James twists his neck to read the title of my book 'Standard Book of Spells'. "Oh no, you're not doing your homework, are you? Remus, I need your assistance. Our friend is in sirius trouble. He's working."

Remus doesn't move. He just give me a sympathetic look. He knows how much I hate those stupid puns with my name and James acting like a complete imbecile.

I've finished writing. He won't let me continue anyway. "I'm not working. It's just a bit of advanced research out of interest." I close the book and let him read the full title 'Standard Book of Spells Grade 6'. Why do I try to explain? It only makes it worse.

"Schoolbooks for fun? It's worse than I thought. Remus, take his other arm. Sirius needs to see Madam Pomfrey. He must have caught a bug from Snivellus during their row yesterday."

Evans frowns at him. Other students are watching. They don't want to miss a chance to witness one of our rare fights. They'll be disappointed. I'm not making this a matter of common room gossip.

"Just leave it, James. There's nothing wrong in getting prepared for... " I twinkle and smile mischievously.

"I suggest 'Facing the Grease' for preparation, if that's what you are looking for." He must have the last word. I let him, but my frown should make it clear that this is the last word I'll take about it. He's not really as stupid as he usually wants to appear and gets the point.

We spent the afternoon on the grounds. I'm not one bit further with my research than I was last week. I need to figure out how to conjure real living objects until end of term. NEWT level magic, so what? A box of chocolate frogs won't impress her. It has to be roses, real roses, not those fakes which fade away in a day's time. She must understand that I mean it, that I'm not a little boy anymore. It's my last chance. She has finished Hogwarts. If I don't take action now, they'll marry her off to somebody else. I'm not too young for her by family standards.

I can imagine them so clearly, blood red, just about to open, beautiful like her, real roses with thorns.

I've told James. I had to. He never lets go before his curiosity is satisfied. He called me mad. He said other things, things only he can say to me and live to tell the tale. Am I looking for the easy way out? Giving in to Black tradition?

No, I love her. What's not to love about her? Tall and slender, the long black hair falling down her back held with a silver grip - not snakes, honeysuckle – on her even robes of the hated green look warm and friendly, a queen sorceress from the old tales. Some call her plain compared to her sisters, but she has something the other two lack. Andromeda has a heart.

On my very first morning at Hogwarts, right after mother's howler turned all attention on me, she came over to the Gryffindor table and congratulated me to my sorting. She gave me a nicely wrapped parcel. Inside were a red and gold scarf and a small piece of parchment, a simple spell to detect and vanish snakes. I never figured out how she knew.

Remus suggested summoning the roses. That was the first thing I had tried. After their airborne journey the flowers were all tatty, crushed and broken. James looked for a spell to transfigure something else. Pebbles. It seemed to work at first, but after three days, the spell faded. All what was left was a small pile of fine gravel.

We used James' cloak to search the restricted section of the library. One book mentioned a possible solution. If I added a few drops of my own blood to the pebbles, the transfiguration would be permanent. James ruled that out. Dark Arts! I've tried anyway, secretly. He was right. There was something creepy about the transfigured roses. They were too alive. I burned them.

My time is running out, only one week left before end of term. We'll be going to visit them on the first weekend of the holidays. I need the roses by then.

It's been hard to have some time of my own with the exams and James nagging me about my plans. He's on detention with Remus. They poured invisible soap on the dungeon stairs. I should have been with them, but Slughorn kept me after potions in another attempt to make me join his stupid club.

James wouldn't wait. Allright, I missed Lucius falling down the stairs and landing on Cissy, but I have two hours for my experiment.

I manage to conjure really nice ones by now, beautiful roses, but they don't have thorns. Roses without thorns are childish. They don't mean anything. I want Andromeda to understand that I'm not a child. I'm not taking the easy way out. Thornless roses pile up around me, some have little knobs on their stems.

"What have these poor flowers done to you, Black?"

"Evans! Can't you mind your own business for a change?"

"Pfft!" Lily Evans shrugs and and turns her back on me. I can hardly believe my luck. Then she takes her wand out. An umbel of tiny pale pinkish flowers lands in my lap. Dogbane!

"Very funny! Same to you."

I take the flowers up to cast them aside. They are real!

"Wait! How did you do that?"

"What? Oh, the flower. That was nothing, just minding my own business."

She doesn't like me. I don't like her. Who cares? She knows how to conjure real flowers.

"It's not nothing. I been trying to do this for months. I can get flowers, but I can't make them real." Allright desperate times require desperate measures. " Evans … Lily please, if you know how to conjure real living flowers, tell me. I give you anything you'd like for the right spell."

"I doubt you have anything I'd like, Sirius Black, but since you ask so nicely. You leave Severus alone for the rest of term, no pranks, no jokes, no names calling."

I nod casually, no big deal. It's just a week. Lily grins. "...and you make sure that your friend Potter leaves him alone, too." Hmm, that may prove a bit more difficult.

"I can't watch my friends every minute and what if Snape attacks first?" I try to object.

"Your problem. If you don't keep your word, I'll tell everybody that you need help to get a girlfriend."

"You won't!" I know she will. I'm doomed anyway. I need those roses!

"Allright, you show me how to do it and Sniv... Snape gets an early holiday." I stretch out my hand. "Done!"

She accepts and sits down beside me.

"Let me see what's wrong with your roses."

"Help yourself."

She frowns slightly. I see no reason to be charming; it's a business matter.

"Exactly what I thought," she says inspected a few of my roses. "You're trying to make them perfect, but that's not natural. Look even the curve of the petals is the same on each one; the leaves are exactly on the same places. There aren't any differences in colour. Have you ever seen real roses which look so much alike?"

I sigh. " I know they look artificial. But how can I make them beautiful, when I don't concentrate on making them look perfect?"

"The girl you want to give them to is she perfect?"

"Yes, of course. She's wonderful, kind and intelligent, beautiful and lively."

Lily smiles. "Yes, I expect that, but is she perfect?"

"She doesn't need to be perfect."

"That's the point. Imagine your roses to be like her. Think of what you want them to mean. Try it. It's not the spell, you have the spell right. To make them alive you need your heart's magic not the power of your wand."

Somehow what she says makes sense. It's so obvious. I try and it works. It really does!

"See, it's nothing. You already knew what to do, but you have been relying too much on spell books and magic power. That only gets you so far. Of course you need the right words and wand movements. Without the theory you'll cause a mess like accidental magic before Hogwarts, but to do something really wonderful takes more than books."

I look at her like I'm seeing her for the first time. She's really clever for a Muggleborn. Slughorn and Flitwick are right to praise her natural talent.

"How did you figure that out? I mean it sounds like you've given it a lot of thought."

She giggles. "I didn't. Severus explained it to me."

She has to drag the Snape boy in, hasn't she? There's no denying Snivellus can do amazing things. Not good enough to get the better of us, but still...

"I'm sure he will be delighted that you share his secrets with me."

"It's not really a secret, is it?" She looks a bit concerned. "You won't tell him and you will keep our bargain. He's not as bad as you think, you know."

"It's not like I waste my time talking to that git. I've got enough of that sort at home. You kept your part of the deal; I'll keep mine."

James laughs his head off. I've decided not to risk anything and tell him about the deal I've made with Evans and simply ask him to agree.

"You owe me, mate. Taking the fun out of my life for a whole week."

I've never been so eager to return home. The spell works every time I try it. Andromeda will be impressed. She has refused the elder Lestrange at Christmas. Maybe she knows that my proposal is the best solution. A few years difference doesn't matter and once we are engaged they will leave us alone. That's not the only reason of course. I do love her.

I can't sleep on Friday night, practicing the spell to make it a whole bunch of roses in an instant, going through the words I want to say to convince her. No, trying to tell her how I feel!

I don't notice that Reggie crept through the service lift.

"You're really going to do it, are you?"

"Yeah, I am. Why are you bothered, want to give it a try yourself?"

"No thanks. I'm not the heir. They are not at my heels. I can take my time to choose and I intend to take a long time."

"Did you hear what Mum said at supper? About me not spending enough time with _decent folk_? She later took out her book, probably looking for a matching lineage. They make me sick."

"They are just concerned. Don't make such a fuss. When was the last arranged marriage you know of?"

"Bellatrix and Rudolphus? And Narcissa and Lucius are engaged, going to tie the knot next year."

"You can't deny that Bella and Rudolphus are a perfect match. They deserve each other." He giggles. 'Deserve each other' is right. But then Lucius and Narcissa are really in love. It's been almost ridiculous. Lucius running after her for three years now, worshipping the ground she walks on, as if she would refuse him.

Regulus has crawled on my bed like he always does. He puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Really Sirius, you don't need to rush things. Haven't you listened to father? He already plans to send us on a grand tour after Hogwarts, Europe and both Americas. It will be great, only the two of us."

"Hmm."

I think of James. Would he like to come? The three of us? No, Regulus wouldn't like that at all. He seems to dislike James. I can't understand why. James says my little brother is a decent lad, for a snake.

" Sirius, may I stay tonight? It so lonely and cold in my room."

"Allright. Have you brought your own blanket?" I move to one side and throw him the second pillow.

"Sure. ….. Sirius, I've missed you."

"Don't snore."

I turn away from him and stare at the wall. He starts to snore after three minutes. I've missed it.

The roses lie still on the floor. Vanish them and try to sleep. Regulus' snoring always makes me sleepy.

We arrive at the manor late morning. They are all there, family and sundry, Bellatrix accompanied by her two gargoyles who look more surly than ever, the two Malfoys, Cousin Evan. Aunt Druella plays the Grand Dame. Mother never thought much of the Rosiers. She doesn't think much of anyone unless he's a Black. The Crouches have sent their apologies. Aunt Charis has died in March. At least that spares us the presence of the twin sisters. Caspar Crouch couldn't persuade anyone to have them, not for their pure blood nor for a handsome dowry. Maybe their brother can threaten someone into marriage – instead of going to Azkaban.

Uncle Alphard checks his pocket watch every other minute. He waits for lunch, liquid lunch. "The only way to stand the lot is after three glasses minimum."

Evan tries to drag Regulus away. Slytherin affairs, snakely secrets. Regulus puts him off. He wants to stay with me. I'm glad he does. There's no chance to talk to Andromeda now. Aunt Druella keeps her busy. She winks at me and then continues to give orders to their elf who is quite nervous and tries avoid most of the guests. _'Elves' work should be seen not heard.'_

Lunch passes quickly. I'm not hungry. Uncle Alphard and Grandpa Arcturus inquire about school and quidditch. They wonder why I'm not on the team. I tell them that Gryffindor has enough good players. They didn't wait for me. James made it, of course. He's the best chaser for decades. I'll try out for seeker in September. They are not happy, talking about respect for old families and stuff like that. I can't tell them that I'm not on the team, because I'm a Black, but I'll show them, all of them.

After lunch people scatter. The gargoyles and the Malfoys are talking politics. Bellatrix gets very excited. I've once seen a painting of a French Muggle woman, Marion or something. Bellatrix reminds me of it, but her song is not about liberty, equality and fraternity.

Andromeda has retreated into the garden. I follow her. Now or never! I find her in the arbour, a perfect place. Everything is perfect, but I'm feeling funny. What if she laughs? What if she thinks I'm just a child? What if she won't wait all those years?

" _Their daring nerves and chivalry sets Gryffindors apart"_ Rubbish! I'm scared to death. Maybe I should wait for another chance, better time, better place. I won't be able to conjure anything but cowslips. Where has the chocolate stain on my cuffs come from? It hasn't been there this morning.

I am about to run away, when she notices me hiding the photograph she was looking at in her skirts.

"Sirius," she's obviously relieved that it's just me. "Come sit by my side, little cousin."

Little? I'm almost as tall as she is. Andromeda smiles at my frown. "Sorry, I don't mean any offense. You have grown much recently, almost look like a young man."

I don't think this is going in the right direction, but I can't back out anymore.

Trying to stand as straight as possible I simply begin: "Andromeda, I was looking for you. I need to... I... May I ask you …?" This is horrible. The roses! With a flick of my wand a bouquet of forty-nine red roses appears. I kneel down in front of her and …. Hiding behind the roses gives me the security I need. "Andromeda Black, you are the most beautiful girl, the most wonderful woman I've ever met and I love you. Will you marry me?"

Silence, no answer, no laughter. Andromeda takes the roses from my hands. My heart leaps; she is impressed. But the thoughtful look on her face and the way she tenderly brushes my hair out of my face, is answer enough.

"I'm not a little boy! It's only a few years, nothing at all. They'd leave us alone... I'll promise..." , stuttering in a battle I know I've already lost.

"No, you are not a little boy and that's why you will understand that convenience is not enough for marriage. Not for the two of us! I love you; yes, I do; like the brother I wish I had. This is something precious. A love nobody can take from us and you know that you feel just the same. The love we both crave to be married is different. Deep inside you know that there should be more. Your roses show you do. "

I try to object, but she puts her finger on my lips.

"Sirius, there is somebody else..."

"They won't force you to marry the gargoyle, will they?" I pout.

"Gargoyle? …. Oh, that's not a very nice way to speak of your cousin's brother-in-law. No, I won't marry the gargoyle." She fumbles in the pockets of her skirts and pulls out the photograph she hid a minute ago. I glare at the happy face of a blond young man in school robes wearing a Hufflepuff prefect badge. I don't remember the name, but...

"He's a Muggle! They'll kill you!"

"They won't. You're the only one who knows. Ted has started a job and as soon as he finds a place for us to live, I'll be off. My happiness, my life is in your hands now, Sirius. Will you act like a trusted, beloved brother and protect my secret?"

Seeing how her eyes shine at his sight and him smiling at her from the picture, I know that if I love her, I have to do her bidding.

"I will." I declare.

She embraces me and kisses me on the cheek. "I'm so glad that now somebody shares my happiness." The monstrous bouquet of roses on her lap get between us. The thorns scratch her bare arms and my face.

"Real roses have thorns. If it wasn't for Ted, I envied the one who will receive such roses in real love, Sirius Black."

I laugh to hide my disappointment which actually already fades. I know she's right. There should be more to real love. For now I have to settle with having a loving sister like her which is a wonderful feeling.

Hogwarts, Spring 1978

"Are you planning to shower the girls' dormitories with your thornless roses or what? Fooling around with nearly every girl 5th year onwards?"

"Keep your hair on, Evans. They seem to be very happy with the roses. I haven't received any complaints."

"They're happy, because they don't know that it means nothing to you."

I turn very serious.

"Are you accusing me of taking advantage of your friends? I don't promise anything but a good time and that promise I fulfill. They get what they want, no commitment, no thorns."

"But if one really falls in love?"

"None of them does. I choose carefully. I'm not interested in collecting broken hearts."

"What about your heart, Sirius? Untouched as ever?"

I smile. "You'll be the first to know. Look out for a rose with thorns."


End file.
